If there was a neighborhood kid that your child was friends with, but at times this child was mean or manipulative to your child, but your child still wanted to play with this kid, would you allow him/her too?
At times this child seems to be Matthew's best friend, but then his mood will switch about what seems to be nothing and he's not his friend anymore, until he gets bored and wants to play again. I've explained to Matthew that he needs to ask for an apology and tell this kid to either be his friend all the time or not at all, but Matthew says this kid gets mad easily and it won't solve anything. He also wants to keep a friendship with this kid as they are neighbors. I don't feel like talking with his parent would be good, but it's getting really exhausting. I really care about the neighborhood kids, especially this one, but I'm really at my whits end with the drama this is bringing and the constant rejection my son is receiving. I know that my son is not perfect and am sure at times he may be the one that causes the problems, but I think on majority it seems this kid will just be having a bad day and letting it out on my kid.
What would you do?
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I don't know how to define this blog-- a little bit of serious, a whole lot of heart, some attempted humor, and hopefully, most of the time, a reflection of the real me. Enjoy, and God bless!!
Who is Starr... and why is she like in the sky?
Who comes up with these loaded questions!! Oh yeah, I did. I'm 28, I have a son named Matthew, I'm so in love with Jesus, my son, my family, and all the awesome people God has placed in my life. I am definitely a lover, but please don't distort what that means. I'm talking about the pure Jesus lovin', if you haven't experiance that go ahead and ask Him for it now. Yes!! I mean NOW!! Jesus, will you show me Your love? Go ahead and comment later and tell me what He does. I know He's going to do something special!! He's that good!!
Okay, so I'm originally from Missouri, you know, the 'Show me State'. I don't really know what that means, but maybe we'll get into that later. I'm feeling a 'Show me what Missouri?' blog coming on real soon! Exciting stuff!
I've been in Georgia for a while now and love the south!! It really is the place to be: Mountains, ocean, city, country, loud laughter, and magnolia trees all in one place!!
Well, some things take time, but if you would like the answer to my first above question you can see this. Stay tuned!!
Okay, so I'm originally from Missouri, you know, the 'Show me State'. I don't really know what that means, but maybe we'll get into that later. I'm feeling a 'Show me what Missouri?' blog coming on real soon! Exciting stuff!
I've been in Georgia for a while now and love the south!! It really is the place to be: Mountains, ocean, city, country, loud laughter, and magnolia trees all in one place!!
Well, some things take time, but if you would like the answer to my first above question you can see this. Stay tuned!!
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8 comments:
That's a hard one. (Look at all the stuff I get to deal with as Shiloh gets older.) I wish I had a good answer, but I'm not sure. I've always heard "let them work it out themselves" but if it's a constant thing then that might not work. And shouldn't we, as parents, teach our children what kind of relationships to avoid?
Sorry I'm not more help. I look forward to hearing suggestions from your other readers.
I think I fall into the "work it out themselves" category.
I really like what Dr.Phil says about bullies and manipulative folks: "People will treat you the way you let them treat you."
So maybe you could explain to Matthew that if he doesn't like the way his friend behaves, it's HIS responsibility to either confront it or give it up.
Either way, I'm not sure "supermom" stepping in will prepare him to deal with this kind of situation in the future when you might not be around.
But, seeing as how I don't have kids that age and I've never been there before, I'm not sure my advice is all that great.... just an opinion.
Love you lots!
OK I fall in between the "let them work it out themselves" people and the total intervention people. I think there is a time and a place for both.
We had a similar situation and I ended up telling my son that his friend wasn't a friend at all. True friends don't turn on you all the time and are that self-centered and touchy.
My advice to him was to always be kind to this boy but to not seek a deep friendship with him. I do not think it is a good thing to encourage a dysfunctional relationship.
Matthew can talk to the boy about his behavior and say that he is willing to play with him and be his friend if the boy is willing to be nice. Matthew can help the boy start to understand what being a true friend really means.
But in all honesty, if I had to choose between trying to minister to this boy who is resistant and looking out for my son, I would look out for my son. Our kids are our first ministry. That's just my take on the issue.
I think Matthew is such a great guy to put up with being mistreated and still wanting to be this boy's friend. He is acting like Jesus! But he doesn't need to be constantly abused to be like Christ.
just reading this...i agree with debbie...i was "matthew" as a young boy. my mom was involved, she helped me see the dysfunction and work through it. we remained friends, but it was a different friendship. important point is to be sure to relate it to matthew's level of understanding. you see things he doesn't and you see potential danger...help him to see it at his level. you're doing a great job...keep staying involved in friends, etc - i think that's where we see a lot of today's problems with kids...they have parents that are "checked out" - keep up the good work...you're discipling him.
I would move. But, that's just me.
Ha ha! Praise God for providing a new place. How cool!
Yeah, I thinking moving is the best call :)
Thanks Kathryn! God is so good!
I have tagged you at my blog....Come visit me!!
What Rick and Debbie said!!!
('course moving is nice too!) Ha!
Seriously, we've btdt and some kids need it explained to them in a way that shows you care.
Hugs... where ya' moving?? email me!
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