Monday, January 26, 2009

Lord, You Have My Heart

About a year ago I remember being in the shower and this song popping in my head. It was a song that I haven't sung or thought of in a really long time. This song was actually played during communion at my wedding.
Honestly, when this song came in my head, I was like 'what is that doing there?' but the Lord had something He wanted me to see and to know. The song was 'Lord you Have my Heart' by Delirious. For days I had that song in my head.. it was like the Lord was whispering it to me over and over again until I could finally hear His message to me.
That day that I made that covenant to my now ex husband I also made a covenant to the Lord and He, too, made one with me. I remember feeling the Holy Spirit come over me that day as I knelt at the alter worshiping to that song, with the honest desire to have God as Lord over me and my marriage, and for Him to have my heart. My marriage did not turn out the way I thought it would. Some how the enemy came and stole from my husband and stole from me, but for those that choose to fight, that choose to not give up, but to trust the Lord: their hearts remain His. 'My' heart remains the Lords!
Even though that marriage covenant was broken my covenant with the Lord remains strong and eternal. His promise, protection, and unconditional love for me remains. The Lord knew my path. He knew the brokenness that would take place in my marriage, but He had and has a plan, a plan of restoration, a plan redemption, a plan of promise.....
I am so thankful that the Lord has my heart. That I can trust Him with my hurt, and with my desires. I'm thankful for the covenant that He has made with me that is not breakable, but remains no matter when I'm in lack, or when I'm doubting, or when I'm afraid... His covenant love for me REMAINS!!!!
Lord you have my heart and I will search for Yours!!!!!!

Winter Adventures in The South


This has so far been one of those winters that I've been so happy to be in the south. I know we still have a little ways to go before we are safely in Spring months, but so far so good. I would say that we have only had a total of 2 weeks of really uncomfortable cold weather. These are some pics of Matthew and a friend that he found around Christmas time. Apparently his name is Fred.


Growing up in Missouri, I don't think I ever remember finding a lizard in December...... maybe I just wasn't looking hard enough!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Showing My True Colors

So, If I were to lay down all of my insecurities, all my excuses, and all my fears I would be able to call myself an artist, or at list give myself more time for that part of my heart. I don't know why it's so hard to devote the time to something I love. The times that I have chosen to spend my evenings with worship music playing and a paint brush in hand have always ended with more encouragement and something pleasing to look upon... even if only from my view.

I want to learn how to have the habit of art and to come to a place where I'm not disqualifying myself beforehand to create something lovely. That place where I'm free to put on canvas what's on my heart without fear of my own judgements or those of others.


I want to allow my creativity to bless others. I want the freedom to paint something, have a friends name pop in my head, and not hesitate to give them what I've painted.

I want to see this gift develop over time. I want to experience the joy of creating and worshiping my God through painting. I want to not hide my talent!

Thanks Theresa for not letting me hide, and inspiring me to walk out who God has called me to be. To the rest of my sisters in Christ... thank you for excepting me, encouraging me, and loving me!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Way We Think

Left and right the subject of 'thought life' has been coming up around me. I really think this is something big the Lord would like me to understand: the way I think matters, the words I say matter, and being positive moves things more then being negative. There is a lie that I have believed for too long: that if I think of the worst thing that could happen- then if it happens I'll be prepared and maybe it won't hurt as bad, and if I don't have high expectations then I'll avoid disappointment. This is backwards thinking and only results in mediocrity of living and fear. The below statement has really helped me to learn how my way of thinking can be changed and in the most simple of terms:

Success or failure in life is created by how you think.
Joshua 1:8 says "...but you shall meditate on the Word of God day and night...for THEN you shall make your way prosperous and THEN you shall have good SUCCESS."


God, renew our minds with your word. Let us Hope and Trust in You. Let us choose to think upon things that are pure, admirable, true, and praise worthy. Let us speak out words that encourage and bring life. Let us build up the people around us and even ourselves. Let us not doubt, but believe. Let us meditate on Your word, and establish it in our hearts and minds. Let our thoughts and words be a sweet smelling aroma to Your throne.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A Post on my BFF


Well, Brandy is leaving in 5 days. It looks like my last day with my dear friend is tomorrow. It has been such a blessing to watch this all unfold and God open doors and work out all the details.
I'm amazed at how stable and focused both her and her husband Brandon have been. They both obviously know that God is leading them.

There is no one that is more cut out for moving across the world to pioneer out into a new ministry with a new baby on the way.
I know that no one is more suited for this then them.
I know that in a months time they will be adjusted to the snow, know there way to the nearest Coffee Shop, and be swallowing, without gagging, foods of all sorts.
I know that God is going to use them in amazing ways, and I know that this is going to be a blessing to their little growing family.
I also know that they will all be greatly missed. I know that I will miss Brandy's phone calls-- just to chat, our random movie nights, and our trips to the coffee shop. I'll miss my shopping buddy who helps me spend more money then I think I should. I'll miss her when I'm shopping for a new couch and she's not with me to talk me into it because she knows that big purchases scare me. I'll miss hearing her tell me I'm thinking too much on those days that I totally am. I'll miss her reading my expressions and knowing when things are not right with me. I'll miss hearing her tell crazy Chloe stories. I'll miss Chloe in the background talking while me and Brandy are discussing the latest 'life news'.
I could probably go on and on. There is so much I could say about my heart toward my dear friend. I'll end it all by saying that I love her to pieces... I'll be happy for her while she's there serving, growing, mothering, wifing, loving, aiming, blogging, singing, teaching and whatever else the Lord puts in her path to accomplish. I'll also be super excited to see her return with her beautiful family, that I know will have grown more in love with one another and with their God!

You are such a blessing to me Brandy. I will be praying for your family, and am so excited about what God has in store for you in South Korea. Oh, and no worries about tomorrow--- we don't have to cry and stuff (unless you want to), we can just give each other a hug and say 'see ya later friend!'

To whom it may concern: I am in the market for a new BFF. You must be planning to stay in the US for at list the next year and be okay with being possible ditched when the old BFF returns. You can attach your resume and contact info in comments, but please know that you have a lot to measure up to. :)

Oh! Everyone go give my girl some comment love, and be sure to check her out as she starts posting on her many South Korean adventures!


Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year 2009!!!

Whether you watched the ball drop on tv(or live at NY), slept in the New Year, or watched fireworks go off with your friends at midnight on New Years Eve, I hope you all truly had a blessed time bringing in 2009.

I absolutely love the New Year. I know that every morning we have a new day-- a new start if we need it, but somethings different about a new year. Something is so magical, exciting, and somewhat scary about not knowing what's coming. I don't have a clue what God has in store for this year, but I want to be expectant of His best and His perfect will in my life being full filled.

I was reading the Word New Years Day and some scriptures stuck out to me that I wanted to share with my on-line friends.
Psalm 1: 2 But his delight and desire are in the law of the Lord, and on His law (the precepts, the instructions, the teachings of God) he habitually meditates (ponders and studies) by day and by night.
This year I have a desire to read the entire Bible and to grow in my knowledge of the Word.
Psalm 9: 1 I WILL praise You, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will show forth (recount and tell aloud) all Your marvelous works and wonderful deeds!
2I will rejoice in You and be in high spirits; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High!
I really hope that my life would be a testimony of the goodness of God to the people around me. I hope that, regardless of my circumstances, that I would live a life of praise and rejoicing in the Lord in 2009.
Psalm 29: 1 Give unto the LORD, O you mighty ones, Give unto the LORD glory and strength. 2 Give unto the LORD the glory due to His name; Worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness.
I pray that in 2009 that the Lord would continue to get all the glory in every area of me and Matthew's lives.

May God truly bless all of you and your families in 2009. May this year bring increase in Love, Health, Prosperity, and knowledge of our Amazing God!