Thursday, July 24, 2008

Boyz to Men

Okay, I have always been very thankful for having a son. Boys are so much fun!! I must admit though that lately I've been feeling a little like I don't know what I'm doing.
I think it's partly the reality that moms can't be dads, and boys REALLY need good dads; good godly dads. It seems that godly men examples seem to be the pivotal thing that builds there confidence, and makes them good strong men themselves. So, where does this fit for the single mom raising a boy?
I have always stood against the stereotype that my son will end up the typical single family home kid. That's just not acceptable to me, and I don't think it's acceptable to the Lord either. His ways are higher then our ways, and He is the Father to the fatherless. Matthew is growing up surrounded by much love, and stability, but I still see him struggle with confidence, fear, and sometimes anger.
As I'm typing this I'm reminded of all the good advice and encouragement I've received in the past, and know that God is directing me and sending me help, but today, I feel in lack.
Anyone have any words of wisdom on raising boys to be good men?
Also, on a related note; Matthew does not want to do sports, because quote on quote 'I'm not good at sports Mom, I'm just no good (in a teary voice)'. I really feel like he needs some activity to build his confidence, and I know for a fact that he is excellent at sports-- he's played many before with success. So, do I force him to join? The sports arena was always something I thought was for dad and son time, but that's not happening, so then what?
AHHHHHHH!! This blog seems like a real downer. Just one of those days. Thanks for listening though.

7 comments:

Kim Heinecke said...

I hear ya on this one! I remember being the only mom to attend a parent meeting for soccer...mostly full of dads. My older son was much like that - afraid to fail. I did kind of force him to try some things.

Do you have a male friend (like a friend's husband or someone from church) that you could ask to spend a little time with him just to give him some "guy affirmation" Perhaps he just need a little nudge to believe he has what it takes.

I remember fearing my boys would struggle with the same things I did...confidence, fear and anger.

Beloved of the Lord said...

Thanks for understanding Kim. There are a few guys that have spent time with Matthew from our church, but I have been really praying for the Lord to bless him with something consistent, that he can count on.

Anonymous said...

I know this has to be hard. I have a daughter and she's a bit too young to go through this right now, but I still worry about her being the typical single parent home kid. I don't want her to be a statistic. (I think God's the trump card for that.) Shiloh isn't dealing with the same issues, but lately she's been trying to claim other kid's dads as hers and she cries for "Daddy" when she's mad at me, even though she's never had a dad in her life. She's obviously noticing that something is missing. It's so frustrating to watch our kids deal with these things. I'll be praying for your son.

Shanda said...

I am feeling you on this one. Everything you said is something I could have said.
We are going to start boy scouts in the fall. I'm also looking into a mentoring program for him.

I have a few guys that spend time with him, but they have their own families. He needs someone who can be consistent.

I'm going to be praying for you. It sounds like we are in the exact same boat.

Denise said...

Thanks for sharing, will say a prayer for you.

Kathy C. said...

Oh my goodness! I don't know if it will help at all, but I wrote my blog on being a single Mom to a son (I have been there). Pop over and read it, I do address the sports issue a little and it may set your heart at ease. :)
Have a blessed day and hang in there Mom!

Anonymous said...

I'm not a single mom but I just wanted to offer you a word of encouragement. God is able to make up for any lacks we have as parents-- both through His people and through His Spirit. All we can do is pray, pray, pray for wisdom and for our children. And teach them to love the Lord. (((hugs))) to you. I pray that you will have the wisdom to know exactly how to help your son.