Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Singletonville Episode 3 Remembering to breath

I remember a time when breathing hurt so bad. When it was a conscious effort to inhale and exhale. My heart was broken, and everything I thought was going to 'be' was not.
It's so awesome to look back and truly be able to say that season has ended. My breathing is regular, if not better then it ever has been before, and my heart no longer feels like it's going to collapse upon itself. The very thing I thought was going to kill me did not, and then I realized that I had survived!! It didn't happen in a day. It was a gradual process.
One day you'll just catch yourself laughing/ smiling a lot, and you think--- wow-- I've survived, and I'm not hurting anymore!!; and then it comes-- a final excitement for the future, a realization that new beginnings will look beautiful, way more beautiful then the past, and you see that everything, even the suffering, caused a better you to come through; a gleaming reflection of a God that rubbed off on you while He held your hand and while He carried you. You'll remember the words He spoke in the darkness, in the loneliness, His words that revealed-- He truly understands, and 'HE' was not going anywhere-- EVER!! That, my friend, can carry you through anything, anywhere--- all the way to eternity........
It's a very incomprehensible place to be when you are thankful for suffering you have walked through-- I'm not longing for more suffering, but am so grateful for the grand ways the Lord used it.
Lord, take our hurts and and turn them into something lovely.

Isaiah 61:3To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion--to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit--that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.