Friday, October 31, 2008

Fear of Disappointment

Anyone out there scared of hope or scared of wanting something and the chance of not getting it?
I know that one of the things God wants me free from that has been really hard for me is the fear of disappointment-- this fear will always keep us from hoping and believing for God's best for our lives. This fear will keep us living in mediocrity and thinking that it's just the way things are. This fear causes us to grow frozen when a desire in our heart explodes out and we can't seem to get rid of it. This fear results in much frustration when there is something God wants us to hope for, but we result in fighting against that something because we don't want to be disappointed.

Blah! I HATE this fear. I hate it that on some days I feel like this fear owns me. I hate it that I know that there are things God has called me to hope for, but this fear causes me to give those things up at times.
Isaiah 43: 23 says: "Then you will know that I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed."
I sometimes wonder how much God's people are missing out on because we don't believe Him and trust His word.
Yes, we have all seen disappointment, and I know at times I have blamed the Lord for mine, but based on His word-- we do NOT find disappointment in Him when we are willing to Hope in Him.

In Isaiah 54 vs 4 the Lord says "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood."
Prior to this verse he asks a person to expand their tent pegs knowing that they had no family to put in this tent. God was asking for hope, a hope that even birthed action in one way or another.
I know that God has asked me to hope, and the action in standing with Him in this hope is prayer-- that is the tent that will make room for his promises and His expansion in my life. Is there risk-- only risk that things won't end up exactly like 'I' have determined, but that risk is minimized when I find that He is my guarantee. I have a guarantee in His goodness, in His love, that He does what He says He is going to do, and that those that Hope in Him will not be disappointed.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, and I don't like being sick, but I would much rather be sick for a time, and believe God then ignore His voice and miss out because of fear!!!!!!
I also know that He is so good to help us in our waiting and hoping, to send His words of encouragement and peace on the journey. He has compassion and knows that some things are really scary to believe for, and has sufficient grace to help us to stand.
My good friend Jessi said to me yesterday 'if he cares about what you will eat and what cloths you will wear how much more the ache of your heart'. I am so thankful that He does care and that He won't disappoint. I'm also thankful that no matter how hard I have tried to push hope away that He continues to bring it back up again-- even through my kicking, screaming, and fighting.

Today I choose to hope.

Psalm 130:7 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.
Psalm 147:11 the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.
Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Proverbs 23:18 There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.

4 comments:

jenn said...

I find myself scared to hope sometimes... okay, most of the time. I know I shouldn't think this way and it's something I'm trying to work on.

Beaumontkitty said...

So, what are you afraid of? I don't like spiders....:-)

Kim Heinecke said...

Can I cross post this on PL next week? so very good...

Anonymous said...

Wow, I needed to read this tonight. Very powerful.